Finland issues.

I was not able to hold my fingers off my laptop, so I decided to wrote a note :)

So, I've been here in Finland a bit over a week, actually 10 days. I left Canada on the 15th August. The flight was okay, quite long one. I changed the plane in London at the Heathrow Airport. Wow, what a HUGE airport!! Finally my flight landed on the 16th August to Helsinki. I met my parents and little brother at the airport :) It was really good to see them!! And it felt soooo weird to speak Finnish after so many weeks! But I hadn't forgotten my native language, haha! On the next day I arrived to my on home in Jyväskylä.

And now I'm gonna tell few things about my comeback in Finland.

1. This is something what was waiting for me when I got to my new flat.




Yeah, that's my room :) I moved into here just a couple of days before I came to Canada. So, all my things and belongings were in those boxes and bags and baskets waiting for me when I came back. And there was like no room to take more than two paces in my room.. Well, it was quite well organized, until the next day when dug into all those boxes.. This is how did it look after few hours "work".




The name for the feeling when I took this picture is hopelessness.. But now, after a week, it's getting better! I did some redecoration (like painted the walls of my room) with my flatmate and I'm almost done with the organizing :) Almost. I think it's gonna look like a cosy room for awhile. Except the view from my window. Cause there is no view! The window of my room has a plastic cover because of the redecoration of the facade of our apartment building.. And I don't know how long it's gonna take. Hope the workers will get their job done soon.

2. It was quite hard to settle down here in Finland. I had forgotten some big differences between our cultures. And most of those things I'd rather forget forever. Many little things like smiling and talking to strangers - we don't do that in Finland. Or if you do, people think you're weird.. Well, that sounds maybe a bit worse than it really is.. But unfortunately that's not very far from the truth! Anyway, don't worry - I'm not gonna stop smiling!

And the other reason what made my settling down more difficult was the Longing. I can't say enough how much I miss all you guys whom I got to meet during my trip in Canada!! Somehow it was so easy to be just myself with you! Even easier than here. I think it's because my friends and family and the other people around me here have got a certain picture of me. And that's why they expect me to act and behave in a certain way. And sometimes that picture is not right, but it's really hard to try to break and change that picture. I felt myself totally accepted and loved in spite of any conditions! Thank you so much for that! So, I'll do my best to be just myself here in Finland!

3. I've lost my job as a teacher's aid.. This is shortly what happened a week ago: I went to see my employer, the principal of our elementary school, to confirm the plans concerning my job. I talked to him and said like "I just wanted to come to say hi and I would like to ask are the plans still the same?" and he said "actually no, I gave your job to another lady". That was Really hard to believe, cause last time we talked he gave his promise for me to get that job. So, I was sad, like broken-hearted-sad.

4. I've decided to have a Positive Attitude! It rocks! I've learnt so many things during this process what's going on here. The first day here in my own home was actually horrible. I just thought that "why on earth am I here?! I don't wanna be here! I wanna go back to Canada! There is no purpose for my life here in Finland!". Then I decided to be reasonable and try to find some positive things in that situation. I don't actually know what happened, but I started to feel better! I've noticed that you can get so much more out of life being positive instead of stressing and rolling in the self-pity like saying "poor me". There are some thing you can't change, but I think there are even more things you CAN change by changing your attitude! Having a Positive Attitude :)

So, luckily this decision was made before I lost my job, cause that helped me to get out of that sorrow. In fact, what was surprising for me in that situation was that meanwhile I was Really sad, this thought jumped into my head "well, then there is something else and even better for me!" And I was really hopeful for the future! I believe that there is God who's got his plans for my life and I'm just waiting for those become true :)